PLANTING FLOWERS

My youngest son is in hockey and if you have a child involved in any sport I am sure you can appreciate the effort it sometimes takes to get your son or daughter to out of town games. Hockey is especially brutal because the younger players sometimes get the early morning ice times. It is not uncommon to have a game start at 8 AM. Not to mention the coaches like to have the boys there at least half and hour earlier so they can have a bit of a warm up.

Last weekend my son had an out of town game scheduled for 9:00 A.M. We had a good two-hour drive ahead of us and to make matters worse we were running a bit behind and I was not able to have my morning caffeine fix. I was not in the best frame of mind and suggested to my husband that we pick up a coffee for the road. He didn’t stop until we were about fifteen minutes from our destination and by that time my mood had gone from bad to worse. As luck would have it, when I finally had my coffee in my hands and was about to take a sip, my husband hit a pothole and I dropped the cup causing scalding hot coffee to spill all over my lap. I don’t know which hurt worse the burn on my leg or the fact that I never had even a taste of my coffee.

We arrived at the arena and quickly rushed in and got our son suited up and then went upstairs to wait for the game to start. As it happened the maintenance people were a little slow cleaning the ice so the game would be a late start. Since we had a good ten minutes to spare my husband suggested that one of us should take our dog Rocky for a quick walk. We didn’t have time to take him before we left, so I reluctantly volunteered. I went to our vehicle to get him and was aghast to find that he had gotten sick to his stomach. I did not have a lot to work with but I tried my best to clean him up with a bit of bottled water and a small piece of tissue that I found. I got him settled after about 15 minutes and headed back into the arena. All I could think about was washing my hands. I went into the ladies and tried to turn the water on and nothing came out. By this time I was at my wits end. What else is going to happen to me I thought, as I ranted and raved? Finally after a few minutes I took a deep breath and thought about my situation.

I have always believed that all of our feelings are based on our internal thoughts. We are in control whether we believe it or not. We can be positive or negative, active or passive the choice is ours. I have read so many books on the subject you would think I would know better. Here I was suffering from PMS (Poor Me Syndrome), and my anger and frustration was just fueling it. Once I clued in to this revelation and could look at the situation for what it was, I realized if I could bring on the negativity, then I could also rid myself of it. My mind was finally clear enough to assess the situation and find a solution. There had to be a reason the water from the faucet was not running? The toilets seemed to be working fine, so I checked to see if the valves below the sink were turned on. For whatever reason someone had shut them off and all I had to do was turn them on again, simple. After that epiphany I washed my hands and headed back upstairs to watch the hockey game with an inner knowing the rest of my day was going to be GREAT, and it was. My son’s team won their game 8-7 in the last few seconds and I went away with a newfound understanding about the power of positive thought.

By being more positive (planting flowers) yourself you can give your children a wonderful gift. Teach them that even if they are having a difficult day they can turn their negative thinking (weeds) around just by looking for all the things in their life to be grateful about (flowers). They can say things like, “I am so happy and grateful for our family pet,” or “I am so happy and grateful for my cozy comforter.” Let them get as silly as they want, you can even make it a game to see who can come up with the most things to be grateful for in this moment. The point of the game is to teach your kids to plant good thoughts or flowers to smother the not so productive ones or weeds.

flowers or weeds Weeds or flowers illustration by Suzanna

Parents can promote positive thinking and by doing so can help raise the confidence and self esteem of their children. Here are some ideas to keep in mind.

When your child is doing something that pleases you make sure you mention it to him or her. A child cannot read your mind and must be told repeatedly that you are happy with them. Children remember the positive things we tell them and replay them in their thoughts. Give your child gifts of encouragement throughout the day.
Teach your children to practice making positive self-statements. Negative self- talk is behind depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel. Instead of he/she saying, “ I can’t do this Math question” teach them to say, “ I can do this if I keep trying.”
Avoid criticism that a child may take as ridicule or shame. Use “ I statements” rather than” you statements.” Such as, I would like you to keep your room tidy as opposed to, your room is such a mess, or you are so lazy.
Teach your children the importance of decision-making and praise them when they have made a good decision.
Help your children focus on their strengths by pointing out to them all the things that they CAN do.
Laugh with your children and teach them to laugh at themselves. In order to enjoy life to the fullest it is important to have a good sense of humour and not take ourselves too seriously. Nothing is ever as bad as we may think it is.

If you would like regular newsletter with more articles like this one about positive parenting, please subscribe to the Kids Goals Parent Newsletters at the top of the page!

Join Today! FREE Parent Newsletter for Kids Goal Setting and Parenting Resources

PLANTING FLOWERS