Parent Newsletters - Issue 28

No Limits Learning
kids goals Ezine

Issue 28, February 10th 2007

IN THIS PARENT NEWSLETTER

1. A WORD FROM THE EDITORS
2. FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS IN CHILDREN
3. THE IMPORTANCE OF FEELING LOVED
4. KIDS CORNER COOKING AND CRAFTS
5. TICKLE YOUR FUNNYBONE (JOKES FOR KIDS BY KIDS)
6. WORDS OF INSPIRATION
7. SPONSORS

1. A WORD FROM THE EDITORS

Welcome to the next issue of kidsgoals.com Newsletter. February is a very special month for Cassie and I. On February 18th we will be celebrating the third anniversary of our amazing friendship. Without our meeting there would have been no kidsgoals and that would have been sad indeed. The friendship that Cassie and I have developed is unlike anything I have ever experienced and I am so thankful for having her in my life. Since our theme for February is all about love and friendship our first article will be about the benefits of friendship for our children and how sometimes friendships don't always come easily for some children. The next article deals with how to make your children feel loved, keeping in mind what is age appropriate as there is a huge difference in how to demonstrate love to a baby as opposed to a rebellious teenager.

By now you have received your bulletin about February's competition and by the number of entrants it is appearing to be a popular one. Make sure you leave your address so we know where to mail your prize if you are a winner. For those of you who haven't heard Cassie and I are excited to announce that we are having another competition in February where will be giving away 10 Elmo DVDs called "What makes you happy?" Check the kidsgoals website for all the details.

Finally if you haven't already, come visit our blog. Click on this link http://kid-goal-setting.blogspot.com to go there directly or go to the kidsgoals website and click on parenting blogs. We would love to hear your comments on how we are doing and you will be helping us to realize our goal of writing one blog for every day of the year.

Monicka

2. FRIENDSHIP PROBLEMS IN CHILDREN

I don't know where I would be without my friend Cassie. She appeared in my life at a time when I was at my lowest and I am very thankful that she is in my life. Our friendship is a very special one, as you could not find two people more in sync. There are times she will say exactly what I am thinking. I would be lost without her.

Friendship is very important for our children too. Not only to provide them with a pal to play with but it is also an integral part of your child's development. Friendships will help your child develop his social skills and problem solving abilities and research has discovered that children who do not develop friendships can suffer from depression and other emotional problems as adults.

Of course not all children have the ability to make friends easily and we as parents may need to give a helping hand in that department. My daughter is one of those children. She has an autism spectrum disorder which makes it difficult for her to have normal social interactions with other children. For some children on the spectrum the desire to form friendships is not all that important and they are perfectly happy to be loners. My daughter however very much wanted to make friends; but because of her inability to interpret what others were thinking and feeling she sometimes acted inappropriately towards her peers which made it difficult to connect with them.

Some parents may be totally unaware that their children are having difficulties making friends and think that all is well. If you rarely see your child interacting with other children it may be time to play detective and see if there are any problems in that area. Your child's teacher may be a good place to start and he or she may be able to give you insight on how your child is with other children. It is also a good idea to watch how your child behaves with other children and you can ask the school if you can visit the classroom as a volunteer to witness for yourself how your child behaves around other children and more importantly how your child is treated by the other children.

Children can have problems making friends with their peers for many reasons. They may be shy and lack self-confidence around the other children. Other children can be cruel sometimes and ignore or tease a child that lacks self-esteem. Another reason may be that your child behaves in an inappropriate way around other children such as being too loud and bossy or isn't willing to take turns or follow the rules when playing games.

If you are concerned that your child may be having problems making friends it is good to keep in mind that not all children are the same and some children are extremely popular and have many friends while other children are perfectly happy with one good friend. On the other hand if you notice that your child seems to be having problems making even one friend it may be time to step in. Ask your child how he feels about the friends he has at school or if he is having problems making friends and feels lonely. Your child may not volunteer this information but if you show that you are interested and ask questions you may be able to discover whether there is a reason for concern.

Finally there is a lot that you can do as a parent to help your child with his friendship concerns. Sometimes it is just a matter of having him work on his social skills. You may be able to find programs specifically targeted to help build social skills in children either within the school or elsewhere. Your child's teacher may be a place to start. If your child is having problems making friends because of lack of self-esteem you can help with that also. Have a talk with your child and ask how he feels about himself and if you are concerned that there is a serious problem it may be time to talk to a professional.

For other ideas on how to help your child build his self esteem go to http://www.kidsgoals.com/kidesteem.shtml

By Monicka

3. THE IMPORTANCE OF FEELING LOVED

Scientists, pediatricians and orphanage workers have long studied the phenomenon of "failure to thrive", where babies whose basic needs in terms of food, warmth and safety are met sometimes fail to gain weight and fall behind in both physical and social development. Some babies deprived of loving human contact may even die.

What is it that makes a child feel loved and secure? And how do these needs change as a baby grows into a child and then a teenager?

For small babies, the following are essential:

Touch - hugs and gentle stroking are a key way to communicate to your baby "I love you!" before he can understand it in words. Massaging your baby is a wonderful loving activity that helps make a strong parent-child bond in the early days.

Eye contact and smiles - a key part of infant development is learning to make eye contact and exchange smiles with their caregivers. Newborns focus best on things around 10 inches or so from their eyes. So get close up, gaze into your baby's eyes and give him many big smiles! Exaggerate your facial expressions for your baby and play games with him where you imitate each other's expressions - babies love this.

Talk to your baby - even before he can understand much, your baby loves to hear the sound of your voice. Talk to him about people and things around you, sing to him, and praise and compliment him. Before he understands your words, he will understand your tone of voice and intent, and that will help him feel loved!

As your baby grows into a toddler, he starts taking baby steps into exploring the world on his own. During this stage, he feels your love when he knows that the minute he gets scared or feels insecure, he can run back into the safety of your arms.

To help your toddler feel loved,

Go to him and reassure him if he gets scared

Allow him some independence, but without pushing him too fast into any situation that he is uncomfortable with

Continue to ensure that you have plenty of loving physical contact and eye contact

Now that your little one can understand a lot of what you say, it is very important to praise him at every opportunity. Remember to watch out for nice behavior and give praise, praise and more praise.

During childhood, your son or daughter's personality will start to emerge and if you are observant you may find that one particular expression of love is especially important. You should still do it all - hugs, praise, eye contact and lots of undivided attention are essential. You may notice that some children need more hugs than others, and other children might need to be told they are loved several times a day. Everything you do to help them feel loved is good! And as they grow and try new things, support them as well in "letting go" a little and encouraging their independence while making sure they know that they always have a safe place to fall when they need you.

Teenagers naturally need to start to pull away from their parents as they prepare for adulthood. Love at this stage includes allowing them to find their feet and being thoughtful about discussing family issues and rules with them. Try to negotiate rules while encouraging your child to have an opinion and input, rather than simply telling him what to do like you did when he was younger. For a teenager, it is very important that he feels he can talk with you openly and that you will listen lovingly and not be judgmental. Your guidance and advice are extremely important, but your teenager needs to start having the space to make some of his decisions for himself now. "True love lets go," is a good phrase to remember when parenting a teenager. Be there for your teenager when he comes to you. He might not appreciate hugs so much now, but he still needs to know they are available when he asks for them!

Wishing you all, and your children, a Very Loving February!

By Cassie

4. KIDS CORNER COOKING AND CRAFTS

Valentine Heart Cookies

(Surprise your kids by making the cookie dough ahead of time and let the kids cut the dough into heart shapes with a cookie cutter and decorate)

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup berry or other type of superfine sugar, plus more for sprinkling
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 drops red food coloring

In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

In a larger bowl, use an electric mixer set on medium speed to beat together the butter and 1/2 cup sugar until light and creamy, about 5 minutes. Beat in the egg and vanilla, and continue to mix for 2 minutes.

On low speed, gradually add the flour mixture to the butter mixture until just combined. With lightly floured hands, gather the sticky dough into a ball. Divide the ball in half. Return one half to the bowl, add the food coloring, and mix until blended. With floured hands, form each half into a ball. Divide each ball in half, and flatten each half into a small pancake shape. Wrap each pancake in plastic wrap. Refrigerate until firm, at least 2 hours or longer.

Preheat an oven to 375 degrees F. Set aside the 2 1/2-inch and 1- or 1 1/2-inch heart-shaped cookie cutters, and two ungreased or parchment-lined baking sheets.

Remove one of the plain dough disks from the refrigerator. On a lightly floured board, on a pastry cloth, or between two sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap, roll out the dough 1/4 inch thick. (If it is too hard, let it rest for 5 to 10 minutes.) (This is where the kids can help Use the 2 1/2-inch cookie cutter to cut the dough into hearts. Use a spatula to place the dough on a baking sheet, leaving 1/2 inch between the hearts. Repeat rolling and cutting with one of the pink dough circles.

To create contrasting colors and patterns on each cookie, use the 1- or 1 1/2-inch cutter to cut and lift out a smaller heart inside, or to the outside edge of, the larger heart. (The small heart will lift up with the cutter.) Pop out the dough with your fingertip, and replace it with a heart of the contrasting color. (Dough scraps can be combined by color and rerolled once, or both colors can be combined once to make a marbleized looking heart.) Sprinkle with sugar.

For soft cookies, bake until set but still pale, about 8 minutes. For crisper cookies, bake until pale golden, 10 to 12 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Repeat rolling, cutting, and baking until all the dough is used up. Let the kids decorate the cooled cookies with icing, sprinkles and candy hearts if desired.

"I LOVE YOU" JAR FROM YOU TO YOUR CHILD

Cassie made me one of these for Christmas and it was one of the best gifts I have ever received.

WHAT YOU NEED

1 medium clear apothecary jar with glass lid (you can get these from the dollar store for a nominal fee)
Note pad paper (small various colors)
Fine tipped colored felt pens

Write short notes from your heart on each piece of paper and put in jar. Fill the jar with love notes. You can use inspiring quotes, positive affirmations or just say what you like about your child and how special you think he is so that when your child may feel out of sorts he can take one of the notes out of the jar and read something positive about himself and how much he is loved.

5. TICKLE YOUR FUNNYBONE (JOKES FOR KIDS BY KIDS)

Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A: Ughs and kisses!

Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
A: I Love Ewe!

Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A. Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A. "I find you very attractive."

6. WORDS OF INSPIRATION

"A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails." --Unknown

"Friendship is genuine when two friends can enjoy each others company without speaking a word to one another." -- George Ebers

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway." -- Father Jerome Cummings

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -- Muhammad Ali

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same." -- Unknown

7. YOUR FEEDBACK

If you would like to request any topics for the newsletter for 2007, please email Cassie or Monicka at kidsgoals.com.

Thank you, from Cassie and Monicka

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